HUGE NEWS FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TREACHERY!!!!!!
Claudia Winkleman’s been lurking chicly in a Scottish castle again…
…to bring us, thank god, the second series of incredible reality television program THE TRAITORS.
Starts on 3rd January.
Put it in your calendars. If you haven’t seen the first series, or the Australian series, catch up now or in that eerie snoozy time between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Thank me later.
This news, which dropped less than an hour ago, comes at a crucial time for me personally.
I’ve come to the realisation that I would follow Claudia Winkleman into battle.
Or at the very least, invite her to my hypothetical celebrity dinner party along with Mae Martin, Lolly Adefope and Jonathan Van Ness.
Have I seen everything she’s done? No. Do I know that much about her, other than that she has a fake tanning tent in her home? I do not. Am I frightened of her in a kind-of sexy way?? Definitely.
She has my attention and my loyalty.
When I first came to the UK and started seeing her in shampoo commercials and episodes of Would I Lie To You? I thought, who IS this woman? Can she see out from underneath those bangs? Does she buy eyeliner in bulk? Why do I get the impression she could narrate the drying of paint on a wall, or do a killer live-read of the phone book? She’s got something, this woman, I said, like I’d personally talent-scouted her by watching her on prime-time television.
She’s not like anyone else, that’s what I like. She has mischief about her, even when she’s being deadly professional. I heard a rumour once that she eats a dozen boiled eggs a day, like a petite British Gaston. Don’t care if it’s true at all, she’s just the type of person who might start this rumour herself just to cultivate an air of chaos.
At least once a week, I think about how she doesn’t believe in human thirst.
Sometime in the past few years Claudi Winks told comedians Ed Gamble and James Acaster on their fabulous podcast Off Menu that she never drinks water and doesn’t think that we need to consume liquids to survive. All of this was said in her trademark casually unhinged manner, pitched so perfectly somewhere between seriousness and hysteria that it’s impossible to tell if she’s joking.
I can’t explain it fully, but I would pledge my allegiance to this woman.
She has the strangest brand of charisma. She’s this totally mad1, totally brilliant little weirdo who’s infiltrated the BBC, endeared herself to the nation, and made herself genuinely irreplaceable.
Have you seen this show, The Traitors?? At the very least, now you’ve seen the promo poster.
It’s a perfect TV show, in which Clauds prowls around a Scottish estate at night in tailored menswear and fingerless gloves, narrating as ordinary people sign up to betray and accuse each other. 10/10 no notes.
Nothing could make me go on this show. Nothing. Except if Claudia asked me nicely.
I have almost never been so consumed by television (and I watch a lot of it). Televising a big-budget game of Murder Wink is the kind of television ingenuity I can truly, truly get behind. The capes? The tasks? The way they break down each person until they do not know what it is to trust? It’s a lot. It’s hectic. It’s inspired.
But most important of all, the decision to bring on Winkleman as host? Chic, tiny, maniacal, sweet, devious, hilarious host? My deepest congratulations to the producers, the casting director, and everyone else involved.
The other day I bought CBD-infused lip balm because Claudia told me to on Instagram. I’m seriously considering the purchase of a weirdly expensive candle she designed that promises to make me into a morning person.
I will now be counting down the days till 03. 01. 24
When we get Claudia back with a fresh set of traitors and whatever the non-traitors are called. In the meantime, send Claud W back to Scotland to get started on series three. We’re going to need more.
Oh hey! This is ENTHUSIASM with Kate Leaver. It’s like a hug, only it’s an email.
ABOUT ME: I’m Kate, the writer of this newsletter. I’m the author of two books, one about friendship and one about dogs. I’m writing my first novel, represented by Jemima Forrester at David Higham. Career highlights include asking Jason Derulo to sing his own name, being mentioned on Taylor Swift’s Instagram, and joining an Australian boy band for the day. I also do things host dog-themed podcasts, help people write books, edit essays, and script shows about men’s violence.
You can find out more about me at kateleaver.com
I use words like ‘mad’ and ‘lunatic’ and ‘unhinged’ with great affection. I am not talking about clinical insanity, obviously, I’m talking about vibes. As someone who almost certainly have been tried for witchcraft, lobotomised or outcast had she been born in a previous century, I reserve the right to use these words this way. I would never use them in a derogatory way. There’s nothing I love more than a mad woman.