Jessica! I cry as I write this reading about your mom. I want to let you know that when I first started reading your work a few years ago, it really sunk in. I felt it. After working as an esthetician, paying 2k to try to get rid of my double chin (didn’t work), and trying manyyy experimental procedures to get rid of my acne, I knew that worrying about how I looked made me more and more sad. Instead, I tried to focus on what made me happy - which was spending quality time with my family and friends. I’m so glad your work started that thought catalyst because my dad passed away suddenly last year with no warning. I am so thankful I put my phone down and stopped worrying about how I looked so I could spend that time with my dad. Every day I think about how your work changed my life in so many ways, and continues to do so ❤️
Charlie, I’m so sad to hear about your dad. And so glad you had Jessica’s work to prompt you to spend special time with him. I read a friend’s post about grief recently, in which she wrote that “the people we love can’t stay forever” and it’s really stuck with me as such a simple, devastating but also lovely truth. I hope you’re surrounded by good people and taking care of yourself xx
“‘You want to look more like your filtered photos — what can we do to make you look more like them, so people don't see you in real life and go, what?'” Like, this is an actual medical doctor. I still can’t believe that quote is real.”
So great, Kate! I’m a recovering beauty editorial writer — and, like you, a huge fan of @Jessica DeFino. My pivot has not been to walk away from beauty but to have the same critique of the category that I have for fashion and wellness, all of which is done through the lens of aging; I am turning 55 and avow it’s not a cliche that when you love who you are, you care so much less about your skincare routine et al.
Yes! I’m really pleased to hear this. Also, it’s so fine and often lovely to enjoy makeup etc, I loooove a little lipstick moment and enjoy feeling pretty etc etc but it’s so great to think about it all critically and feel like you’re making choices that belong to you. Hope your enjoying your 50s!!! Thank you so much for reading xx
This is all so valid, I've been so turned off lately by all these new beauty brands and the subscription/sample boxes, it all feels so wasteful. I also stopped using face acids, vitamin c, excess chemicals, etc. and now I have a few basic products and my skin has never been better! I also wish more brands would create sustainable, refillable, packaging-for-life products when planning in their big-budget marketing campaigns.
What a coup. The only beauty newsletter that interests me! Also did you tell her you are a paid subscriber because I forgot to log out of Swiftian Theory when I signed up for paid tier.
Really interesting from you and Jessica - hadn't thought about skincare and make up in quite this way, but have thought same about diet and wellbeing culture which equally conspires to make us feel bad about ourselves only to see us 'solutions' which don't work. Thanks will do some more reading on this. x
Hey Sam, yes! You will find, in your reading, that diet culture, wellness culture, skincare culture and makeup culture are all co-conspirators. There’s so much overlap in the messaging and the marketing and the targeting of our insecurities to weaken us (and fuel billion dollar industries). You may like to read Jessica’s interview with Christy Harrison for a really good take on exactly this topic. Thank you so much for reading, I wrote it hoping people might think a little differently about things, even if only for a minute
Such a great interview, thank you to you both. I was sorry to hear about Jessica's mum, it is insane how much we worry about the little stuff (like which new beauty product to buy next in the hopes of "fixing" our skin.) It's interesting because I have two female friends who recently went for a facial at the same place (one is French and one is American) and they both told me that they came away feeling bad about their skin, or like there was room for improvement, because of the advise they had received from the beautician. *sigh*
Also: thank you so much to Jessica for agreeing to do this interview by email to accomodate my energy levels 🥰🙌
Thank youuuu Kate! This was so fun x
It was!! My absolute pleasure xx
Jessica! I cry as I write this reading about your mom. I want to let you know that when I first started reading your work a few years ago, it really sunk in. I felt it. After working as an esthetician, paying 2k to try to get rid of my double chin (didn’t work), and trying manyyy experimental procedures to get rid of my acne, I knew that worrying about how I looked made me more and more sad. Instead, I tried to focus on what made me happy - which was spending quality time with my family and friends. I’m so glad your work started that thought catalyst because my dad passed away suddenly last year with no warning. I am so thankful I put my phone down and stopped worrying about how I looked so I could spend that time with my dad. Every day I think about how your work changed my life in so many ways, and continues to do so ❤️
Charlie, I’m so sad to hear about your dad. And so glad you had Jessica’s work to prompt you to spend special time with him. I read a friend’s post about grief recently, in which she wrote that “the people we love can’t stay forever” and it’s really stuck with me as such a simple, devastating but also lovely truth. I hope you’re surrounded by good people and taking care of yourself xx
“‘You want to look more like your filtered photos — what can we do to make you look more like them, so people don't see you in real life and go, what?'” Like, this is an actual medical doctor. I still can’t believe that quote is real.”
WUT. 😮
Shocking but not surprising!!!!
I'm shocked and scared
So great, Kate! I’m a recovering beauty editorial writer — and, like you, a huge fan of @Jessica DeFino. My pivot has not been to walk away from beauty but to have the same critique of the category that I have for fashion and wellness, all of which is done through the lens of aging; I am turning 55 and avow it’s not a cliche that when you love who you are, you care so much less about your skincare routine et al.
Yes! I’m really pleased to hear this. Also, it’s so fine and often lovely to enjoy makeup etc, I loooove a little lipstick moment and enjoy feeling pretty etc etc but it’s so great to think about it all critically and feel like you’re making choices that belong to you. Hope your enjoying your 50s!!! Thank you so much for reading xx
The 50s have been the best yet!!
That’s what I like to hear!!! xx
This is all so valid, I've been so turned off lately by all these new beauty brands and the subscription/sample boxes, it all feels so wasteful. I also stopped using face acids, vitamin c, excess chemicals, etc. and now I have a few basic products and my skin has never been better! I also wish more brands would create sustainable, refillable, packaging-for-life products when planning in their big-budget marketing campaigns.
What a coup. The only beauty newsletter that interests me! Also did you tell her you are a paid subscriber because I forgot to log out of Swiftian Theory when I signed up for paid tier.
Lol I’m a pair subscriber anyway!! Im glad we are as a newsletter gang as well xxx
Loved this Kate 💅
Thank you, Marisa! Jessica is amazing x
Really interesting from you and Jessica - hadn't thought about skincare and make up in quite this way, but have thought same about diet and wellbeing culture which equally conspires to make us feel bad about ourselves only to see us 'solutions' which don't work. Thanks will do some more reading on this. x
Hey Sam, yes! You will find, in your reading, that diet culture, wellness culture, skincare culture and makeup culture are all co-conspirators. There’s so much overlap in the messaging and the marketing and the targeting of our insecurities to weaken us (and fuel billion dollar industries). You may like to read Jessica’s interview with Christy Harrison for a really good take on exactly this topic. Thank you so much for reading, I wrote it hoping people might think a little differently about things, even if only for a minute
I noticed that Jessica was a guest on Christy Harrison's pod so will listen to that too!
You might recognise someone else on there soon! When they have the energy to record it!!!
Ohh exciting - that podcast has been the most helpful one for me re. wellness, dieting, intuitive eating...
It’s so good isn’t it!!!
Wow! Such a wonderful conversation to have. Thank you for sharing your personal insights, as well as the interview with Jessica.
There is a huge Kendall Jenner billboard at Place d’Estienne d’Orves in paris right now and all I can think is “no human has no pores”
REVOLUTIONARY
ACTUAL GODDESSES. This made me weep!!! Yeeeesss I am coming on my period but also, just feeling seen. Thank you x
Oh my god Sian thank you so much!!! So sorry about the weeping. We see ya xxx
Haha! Thank you Kate. Been a follower of Jess for some time now but thrilled to have found you too! Xxx
Ah that’s so lovely xx
We do. It’s when everyone else and your own mother gets involved that everything goes haywire
YESSSS such a good point and I needed to hear it!
Such a great interview, thank you to you both. I was sorry to hear about Jessica's mum, it is insane how much we worry about the little stuff (like which new beauty product to buy next in the hopes of "fixing" our skin.) It's interesting because I have two female friends who recently went for a facial at the same place (one is French and one is American) and they both told me that they came away feeling bad about their skin, or like there was room for improvement, because of the advise they had received from the beautician. *sigh*
I’m glad I’m not the only one who likes her face as it is.